Werewolves

在德文裡，死物有性別之分。

此刻我感覺被拋在空中。重要的不是空氣清新或自由的快感，而是徹底的被隔絕在外。
久了之後，被隔絕的感覺會很好。她關上大門之前對我說了。
「好。」
我雙手環抱膝蓋，靜坐在倉庫的角落裡，應該是儲藏櫃之中。
空間小的令人難以呼吸喘氣。沈悶古怪的令人難堪。
「你甚麼都別想，別急著出來。」關門之前她還說了。
「好。」
甚麼都別想，連時間也不能計算。

這裡有一個小窗口，霧窗阻隔了外頭的景色。明明是烈陽下的初春，透過窗口卻像飄著雨的冷冬天。這裡不該有窗戶的，讓人不自覺的觀察時間流逝。
我決定背對著窗口先睡一會。
地上那片是我的影子。很大一塊。我伸出食指，對自己說。
可是我聽不見。
那真是令人興奮，我跳起來，拿鑰匙用力在木頭地板上刻了一個半圓，接著努力調整姿勢想讓影子與那形狀吻合。別怪我，我只是想留住她。

接著我哭了起來。我不難過，只是想哭。
後來我開始想出去了。

我用拳頭敲打厚重的鐵門，光著腳用力踩踏地板，我赤裸的身子磨著磚牆，留下一道道玫瑰色的痕跡。很漂亮的顏色，令人動容的一片片傷痕。
我盡可能的發出聲音，尖叫，太小聲了，太小聲，這個時候我相信自己聾了。
我想起幾個人名，還有一些場景，我想起甚麼甚麼的，頭很痛，那些甚麼甚麼挺不堪的。
我想起那個女人是誰了，我還知道她的名字。我想起夜晚的斷崖，我想到自己的丈夫，克里斯。
我還知道自己叫皮諾。
「茉莉，我想起來了，讓我出去，我想起來了，我知道那個人是誰，我記得他的臉。」

門忽然打開。
茉莉伸出肥胖的手一把掐住我的脖子，令一隻手則拿著木棍。
她兩下，將我打昏在地上。

接著是一片沈寂。我繼續赤裸的被隔絕在夢裡。












In a dream I was a werewolf
My soul was filled with crystal light
Lavender ribbons of rain sang
Ridding my heart of mortal fight

Broken sundown fatherless showdown
Gun hip swollen lip bottle sip yeah I suck dick
Lose grip on gravity falls sky blinding crumbling walls
River sweep away my memories of
Children’s things a young mother’s love
Before the yearning song of flesh on flesh
Young hearts burst open wounds bleed fresh
A young brother skinny and tall my older walks
Oceanward and somber, slumber sleeping
Flowers in the water,
But I’m just his daughter
Walking down an icy grave
leading to my Schizophrenic father.
Weeping willow won’t you wallow louder
Searching for my father’s power

I’ma shake you off though
Get up on that horse and
Ride into the sunset
Look back with no remorse

He’s a black magic wielder some say a witch
Wielded darkness when he was wilein’ on his mom’s
And born child and he was the bastard that broke
Up the marriage evil doer doing evil from a baby carriage
And he was born with the same blue eyes
Crystal ships dripping with ice, diamonds coruscate
In the night fireworks electric bright
And now he’s got his own two sons
Tried to hide his tearz in a world of fun
But loveless bedrooms filled with doom
Bring silent heartache July to June
Woon over new young hot flame
Mourn the memories later
Laugh now aligator

Oh in a dream
My father came to me
And made me swear that I’d keep
What sacred to me
And if I get the choice
To live in his name
I pray my way through the Rain
Singing Oh happy day

I don’t mean to close the door
But for the record my heart is sore
You blew through me like bullet holes
Left staind on my sheets and stains
On my soul
You left me broke down beggin for change
Had to catch a ride with a man who’s deranged
He had your hands and my father’s face
Another western vampire different time same place
I had dreams that brings me sadness
Pain much deep that a river
Sorrow flow through me in tiny waves of shivers
Corny movies make me reminisce
Breat me down easy on this generic love shit
First kiss frog and princess